Words are Just Whispers
by Sara Jaye
Summary: Losing confidence was for quitters, and Ash Ketchum was no quitter. But even confidence can't protect you from the sting of defeat.


"Words are Just Whispers"  
by Sara Jaye

A "what-if" look at Ash's Indigo League loss.

* * *

_Twerp. Loser. Numbskull._

Ash Ketchum wasn't known for losing his confidence easily, even in the face of insults upon criticism upon loss. Losing confidence was for quitters, people who threw away their dreams too early because they'd yet to learn from their mistakes.

Ash Ketchum was a lot of things, but he was no quitter.

It wasn't easy, though. Defeat stings, no matter how hard you try to accept it, and losing a Pokemon League battle was defeat times ten for someone who had worked so long and so hard to get there.

_Loser._

Maybe he'd gotten too confident after seeing Gary knocked out in the fourth round. Maybe he'd made a mistake relying on Charizard.

_Numbskull._

He was a crappy trainer, and Pokemon didn't respect crappy trainers.

_Right?_

No, it couldn't be. If Ash was such a crappy trainer, how did one explain Pikachu? Actually, Charizard was the only one of his current Pokemon who didn't listen.

He _used_ to listen. Maybe evolving into Charmeleon erased part of his memory, Ash thought as he picked at the ground.

_Or maybe he just got cocky and overconfident like I did._

He knew losing wasn't the end of the world. He'd gotten farther than Gary, he'd done his best, given it his all. That was what mattered, that he'd_ tried._ He'd even said if he had to lose to anyone he was glad it was Richie. He was proud of his friend. Brock and Misty were proud of him for coming as far as he did.

_Loser._

It still hurt, though. Right now, it felt like someone had taken sledgehammer and smashed his self-esteem to bits. He could still hear the disappointed jeers of the crowd, see the looks on their faces.

_I let everyone down._

"What're you doing up this late?"

A familiar voice broke the silence, the last voice Ash wanted to hear right now. He turned around and glared at the unwelcome visitor.

"Go away, Gary, I'm not in the mood."

"I'm not here to give you a hard time, dummy!" Gary sat down and leaned against the rock's cool surface. "I just wanted to say you did good out there."

"Yeah, right," Ash snorted. "You saw Charizard disobey me right in front of everyone! The Pokemon League is only for the best trainers out there, trainers whose Pokemon listen to them, and what Charizard did to me out there-"

"Could have happened to anyone!" Gary interrupted. "Do you honestly think you're the first trainer who's had a Pokemon make them look stupid in front of everyone?"

"Well, no..."

"And let's face it, even the best trainers can't get their Pokemon to do everything they say!" Gary continued. "It took _me_ over a year to get Dodrio stop bickering with itself during battles, and I'm the best there is!"

Ash wanted to glower at Gary's smugness, but to his surprise, he just laughed.

"Haha, I got a smile outta you after all!" Gary gloated.

"I can't help it. You act like you're so perfect, and then you go and admit something like that just to make _me_ feel better," Ash said, and to his surprise, he actually did feel a little better.

"Yeah, well..." Gary shrugged. "You looked so pitiful moping around like that, I had to do _something_ or you'd spend the next week sitting around whining about how much you suck."

"I figured you'd enjoy that," Ash said wryly.

"Well, yeah, for the first few days, but then that whole too-much-of-a-good thing business'd factor in..."

Ash shook his head and started laughing again.

"It almost sounds like you care," he teased. Gary's brow furrowed.

"Hey, now, don't you go getting any crazy ideas!" He tried to sound intimidating, but there was no mistaking the softness in his voice. Ash leaned a little closer to his rival.

"Thanks, Gary. You're the last person I expected would make me feel better," he said. Gary smiled...a real smile, Ash noted, rather than his usual smug, cocky grin.

"Hey, like I said. Can't have you moping around for a week," he said. "You really feel better, though?"

"Well, it still stings, but not as bad as before," Ash said. Gary tentatively laid a hand on Ash's shoulder.

"You _are_ a good trainer, Ash. Not as good as me, but at the rate going you should get to where I am eventually," he said.

Ash said nothing, simply reaching to lay his hand atop Gary's.

They stayed like that even after the last traces of pink vanished from the night sky.

_Twerp. Loser. Numbskull._

Words were mere chinks in the armor. Losses could tarnish.

_You_ are _a good trainer._

But five words of praise from one's biggest rival were the polish that mended.


End file.
